I am passing on the pig this year, but rather going with a Mexican Fiesta for the Fish Roast this year.  Should be a good time with my Chicago Bears taking on the local favorite Bengals.  If anyone is in Cincinnati, please come out:

Not sure why I thought of this today, maybe it is the annoyance of Brett Favre or the football season, but I started thinking of a Sunday Night Football game at Soldier Field in 2000 with featured the Bears vs. the Packers.  I think it will go down as quite possibly one of the most moronic, yet comical maneuvers I have ever pulled.

The only bad thing about night football games is that it leads to endless hours of tailgating, which normally leads to endless hours of drinking.  I am going to use that as my excuse, in advance, for this story.

I did feel kind of blessed as Bears/Packers is always a big game, and then throw a nationally televised night game and it goes to a whole new level.

One other item is back at this time, I was told that season ticket holders could basically sell their tickets back to Ticketmaster and Ticketmaster would then attempt to sell them.  Because of this, I searched for tickets at Ticketmaster.com probably 500 times during that week, hoping some good seats would become available.  In a weird twist of fate, on search number 501 I found two tickets about 25 rows up at the 50 yard line in old Soldier Field.

We had probably 15 people at the tailgate, had a good time, for some reason someone brought a bottle of Goldschlager, which I feel was passed around until it was gone.  We made our trek into the game and found our nearly perfect seats.  The fireworks they have before a night came were awesome, and the crowd was going crazy.  Then unfortunately reality set in, and the Packers started pulling away in the second half and beat the Bears 28-6.  Our seats were behind the Packers bench, and as the game got more out of hand, some of the Packers were talking with the crowd by us.  It was at this time, my warped mind came up with an idea that I stole from my Dad from stories I heard from him as a kid…go on the field.

To take a step back, for some reason my Dad’s favorite line is, ‘Act like you own the place’.  I guess this worked for him, because he told me stories of him in his 20s  of how he snuck into both the Notre Dame football locker room after a game, and into the Chicago Bull’s locker room with my uncle and took Benny The Bull’s cape.

Not sure if I was trying to keep the Fish family tradition going, or what I was thinking, as I am anal about rule following to this day.  My wife makes fun of me for this just about daily.  Lets put it this way, you would never see me in the express lane in the grocery store with 11 items.

So I said to my buddy PG, “when the game ends, lets go on the field”.  He really didn’t even elicit a response, might have been sleeping wondering why we were still at the game when it was a blow out.  I repeated myself, and he proceeded to ask me if I was nuts. I then told him, ‘You do what you want, but I’m going on the field after the game.’ To which I still think he thought I had a screw loose and was probably not going to go through with it.

We sit through another agonizing ten minutes of a Bears defeat, and when the game ends and gun sounds, I make my way down the stairs instead of up. There is security standing at the entrance to the field behind the Packers bench, but I briskly walk past him like I knew what I was doing, and he didn’t even flinch. Next thing you know I am behind the bench by the Gatorade coolers, when the thought enters my mind of, ‘hmm, ok, what do I do now?’ I decide that my best option is to try to get to the Bears locker room. So I follow the players back to one end zone, and cross over to the other side of the field back to the tunnel to the Bears locker room, where a security guy politely tells me that I need a special pass to get back there. I was nearly defeated at this point, but then remembered that there are two teams, so made my way back across to the tunnel to the Packers locker room. This time I had learned my lesson, and wedged myself between two players and a trainer and made it right through security and am now back in the tunnel. Again, I didn’t have any real solid plan, so I was just going with the flow. After walking about 100 yards, a door opens and media and camera men start to enter. I give a quick look and realize it is a small room that the hold the post game press conferences in. I figured it would be kind of exciting to watch the press conference live, so I attempt to go into this room. A security guard again stops me and says I am not allowed in without a press pass. I immediately give a stern, “I’m with him”, and point to the camera guy next to me entering the press room. The camera guy, who I of course don’t know, and never even spoke to, gives an affirmative nod to the security guy and I’m now in the press room with the scribes. I was probably in there ten minutes, and Ted Thompson, the General Manager of the Packers came out and was taking questions. It was at this point when I came to the realization that it was extremely boring. Staple questions…canned responses, everyone seemed resigned to the fact that their time was being wasted, but I guess that is the life of a sports writer. It was at this point something to the likes of pure magic happened, a side door of this small room opened and the Packers locker room was now open to the media!

I strolled in to what looked like a wasteland of crumpled athletic tape thrown everywhere and a copious amount of giant naked men. If you are sensing a common theme here, its that I had no plan of what to do, it wasn’t like I had an agenda. As I walked through trailing the reporters, what to I see? A buck naked Brett Favre coming out of the shower with a towel over his shoulder. I immediately walked over to him and congratulated him on the win and shook his hand (while keeping direct eye contact). He went with, “Thanks buddy, I really appreciate it.” Now, I’m sure there are a lot of men who have shaken Brett Favre’s hand over the years, but how many of them could say they did it while he was completely naked. I would have to imagine that I am in a rather exclusive club. I managed to make my way near his locker and pocketed his game sock, as a momento. I figured that would be the highlight of the night, and should have just left, but I got kind of greedy.

I started walking around talking to players. I talked with John Thierry for a good five minutes about how intense the practice during the week and how they can give their bodies time to heal, he was a super nice guy. I then just started hanging behind the camera men as they taped interviews at player’s lockers, I was having the time of my life. It was at about this time a guy grabbed my arm and rightfully informed me that I had no business being in the locker room, and that I was going to jail. I looked at him as if his statement was absurd, and told him that I was let in by a member of the Packers media, and this must be a misunderstanding. I exited the locker room with this large man, and the head of the Packers media relations was just outside the door. I told him the same story, that I was there with a member of the media and wasn’t trying to cause any trouble. He asked me the name of the guy, and I absolutely no clue to this day where I pulled this name from, but I went with “Ron Schmedly”. He said, he wasn’t sure he was familiar with Ron. I then went with this sweet line. “Listen, I am not trying to cause any trouble for myself, or especially Ron. He was nice enough to let me in, and I understand I don’t have a pass, so I’ll just quietly leave.” They bought it for some reason and I left.

Next comes another bizarre moment as where I was let out was right where the Bears leave the locker room. There were probably 50 fans hanging out waiting for autographs, behind a small baracade. I decided to hang around as people were yelling for Brian Urlacher, Mike Brown and people like that. I then see Paul Edinger, the Bears kicker come out, and he is so small, that nobody realizes that is who it is. Paul happened to make a 52 yard field goal that night, so when he walks by, I go with, “Hey Paul, great kick tonight, that was a long one”. He stops in his tracks, walks over to me, puts his hand out, I’m thinking the handshake is coming, but he grabs my hand pulls it in and goes for the big one armed man hug “Thanks, man, thanks for coming out, just wish we could have got the win”. I couldn’t believe it, most guys blow off the fans, this guy over and we practically made out. I figured that was a perfect way to end the night.

As I was walking back to the car, it hit me that I was supposed to be driving two people home, and it was now a good 90 minutes after the game. I make the crazy long walk back to the car, parking lot is practically empty, pick up my phone to 12 messages from the crew wondering what happened to me, as PG last saw me making my way into the tunnel. The guys ended up getting a ride with someone else, and of course wouldn’t believe a word I told them, and I just kept yelling, “I have the sock to prove it”.

Now I spend nights watching Thomas the Train or Disney on Ice, not bad, but the memories of being 22 and a complete idiot still make me laugh.

The world has seen University of Oregon’s LeGarrette Blount punch Boise State’s Byron Hout way too many times.  I will be the first to say that Blount went to a state of insanity afterward trying to go into the crowd to fight, which skews my opinion, but it seems a bit crazy to end this kid’s career over a horrible indiscretion that was brought on directly from baiting from Hout.

If you have been living under a rock for the last week, I posted the video below.  Blount was a 2nd team pre-season All American running back, playing the first game of his senior season , on national television as the kickoff game of the college football season.  His team gets beat, he has a horrible game, eight rushes for minus five yards.  I would have to imagine it wasn’t the start he or Oregon was looking for.  Also, football is much different than baseball or basketball.  You are awarded for your unbridled aggressiveness and physicality.  It is a game of controlled rage, so emotions are many times off the charts.

Fast forward to the end of the game, Blount is walking to the Oregon sideline and Hout runs at him, slaps him on the shoulder pad and yells something at him, with a big smirk on his face.  Blount responds by taking a swing at him within a second of hearing what Hout had to say.  It is hard for me to believe that it could be considered a ’sucker punch’.  A sucker punch is when you sneak up on someone and they have no idea what is coming.  I don’t condone what Blount did, but I have a strong feeling that the whole story has not come to light for some reason.

People from Oregon have stated that either Hout asked Blount how one of his dead relatives are doing (who passed away the week prior), or used a racial slur.  If this is indeed the case, it still might not warrant an immediate punch in the face, but suspension for the rest of the season, and probably ending any shot at a professional career, that seems far too harsh.

If Byron Hout was a real man, he would stand up and disclose exactly what was said to Blount.  In the end, it all could have been avoided by Hout celebrating the victory with his teammates instead of making a point to go after someone on the opposing team.  The media loves to vilify people, which they have done endlessly with Blount, but Hout stepping forward, and everyone knowing the whole story could cast a much different light on this unfortunate situation.

The actual anniversary of the Columbine massacare was April 20, but I just finished a riveting book by Dave Cullen, on the events of that day and the aftermath of the tragedy. 

Every person has their own unique interests, and I’ve noticed that I am fascinated to read and learn about how people and media react in times of ‘unpresidented tragedy’, so to speak.  One example I can think of took place after President Kennedy was assinated in 1963.  It was immediately decided to swear in Lydon Johnson as the 36th president of the United States on board of Air Force I with the poor widowed Jackie Kennedy standing next to him in a outfit still covered in her husband’s blood.  There was no need for that symbolic act to take place so quickly in the midst of a tragedy, but they felt it was needed to show the country and the world, that America would continue to function undeterred, and I think they made the correct decision.

There are countless other instances, that I find intriguing, as how resillient Mayor Guilliani was essentially during the attacks of 9/11, saying ‘we will rebuild’ (even though nothing is even close to rebuilt almost eight years later).  It was reassuring the the country during a time of complete pandemonium.  Upon reading Cullen’s book Columbine, there were numerous decisions made by law enforcement and media that were both hastily and incorrectly made, and most of the public still is not aware of these mistakes.

It was widely reported that these kids, Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold, were out to “kill the jocks” and exact revenge on people who picked on them.  The truth was that they had no premedited victims.  They simply wanted to kill everyone in the school and out do their idol, Timothy McVeigh, who orchestrated the Oklahoma City bombings in 1995, killing 168 people.  They plotted out in every way how they could kill the most possible students and teachers.  Harris and Klebold planted two giant propane tanks in the cafeteria of the school, and set a timer for the bombs to detonate at exactly 11:13, which they studied to be the highest traffic point in the cafeteria.  They also loaded their cars with homemade napalm bombs to go off one hour after the bombs in the cafeteria with the hopes of many more casualties from rescue workers and students who managed to escape the carnage inside.  This information was given to the media within days of the attack, but it was as if media’s story was already written.  Two shy goth boys who wanted to get back at the jocks that picked on them.  That story might have been convenient, and make other schools around the country take a hard look at hazing, but it was far from the truth. These boys were simply sociopaths.

The media also botched the story of Cassie Bernall, who lost her life that day.  A student who was in a state of shock immediately after the attack told a story that one of the killers asked her if she believed in God, and she answered ‘yes’, the killer laughed asked why, and then killed her with his sawed off shotgun.  The media ran with this story, and it was on every major news channel and newspaper.  The problem was that conversation never took place.  There are numerous studies that people at the scene of a crime tend to not be the best eye witnesses, due to the trama but at least five other students in the Columbine library at that time refuted that story, but no media outlets seemed to want to recant that story, and Cassie’s parents have dealt with not only the loss of their daughter, but her immediate rise to what some called sainthood, to then accused of trying to capitalize off of an untrue story by writing a book about her life.

You also have to take a look at the police.  They had detective John Stone, a man who had been Sheriff in Jefferson County for less than two years, and was more of a politician than a tactical sherriff.  it took them over four hours to storm the building at 3:20, incorrectly thinking it was a hostage standoff, when the shooters committed suicide three hours earlier at 12:08, allowing more than one student and faculty member to pass away due to the delay in sending in the SWAT team.  The only good to come out of that bad decision, was a change in all future similar situations, putting in place the Immediate Action Rapid Deployment tatic and may help saved some lives in the future.

When the attack was in progress, students fleed the building as quickly as possible.  The police and rescue teams had the students run into a large field behind the school.  Of course parents were all mortified, but couldn’t get to the school as a huge area had been roped off by police.  The parents were told to go to Leawood Elementary where the kids would be bussed over from the field.  Bus after bus arrived with families reuniting, and others wondering if their kids were still inside the school.  The police knew that 12 children were killed, but were not ready to tell the parents, so they instead gave them the false hope that one more bus was on the way.  As two hours went by, the parents rightfully wanted answers, doubting there was any additional busses, and it was only then that they were told their kids had been senselessly killed that day.

A decision was also made to leave the bodies of two deceased students in the parking lot of Columbine High School for over 48 hours, without even any covering.  The police stated fear that some of the bodies could have been staged with explosives when moved, but it stole the dignity of these two teenagers.  I can’t even wrap my head around how difficult it must have been for the parents of those two students, knowing their child’s deceased body lay in a parking lot covered in snow.

Overall, it was a horrible day in America, ruined the lives of many families, and made everyone feel a little less safe about going to school or sending their children to school.  The only positive you can possibly take out of it, is that we learn from the mistakes made by both the Sherriff’s Department and the media, and don’t repeat those same mistakes in another moment of tragedy.

Yes, I am a Chicago Bears fan, so it was instilled in me at an early age to hate anything and everything that has to do with the Green Bay Packers, but I secretly have always had some admiration for the “gunslinger”.  He was what football should be all about, being tough, commradderie, and having fun.  His yearly charade of retirement has turned from comedy, to sheer disgust.  I am pretty sure he started hinting at retirement each year starting in 2002.  He then finally made up his mind and sat up at a press conference with the Packers in 2007 and cried about how is body just couldn’t do it anymore, and he was ready to walk away to spend more time with his family.  Of course that lasted a few months until his ego decided that he couldn’t handle people not talking about him day after day.  So he starts this big saga of putting the Packers in a horrible situation asking to release him so he could play somewhere else, all of this during training camp for the 2008, after the Packers have already invested in Aaron Rodgers to take over.

After weeks of endless media speculation, the Packers finally released him and he jumped ship to the New York Jets, where he started off hot and faded down the stretch.  After the 2008 season he retired again.  He even made fun of himself in an interview about all of his retirements.  Here we are today, May 7, and the lead story on ESPN is that the Vikings are flying to to Mississippi to meet with Brett about joining them for next season.  Are you kidding me?

Rodger Clemens did the exact same thing numerous times.  In 2003, the Yankees played the Florida Marlins in the World Series.  Before the playoffs Clemens had said that the 2003 season would be his last.  He started game four of the series in Miami.  When he came out of the game in the bottom of the 8th, the Marlin fans rose in unison to give him a standing ovation.  I thought that was rather impressive when a visiting player gets a standing ovation from the home crowd, especially during the World Series.

It quickly became much stranger as the entire Marlins team came out of the dugout to give Clemens a standing ovation.  I have never seen anything like that in my life, an unbelievable sign of respect for a player deemed as one of the best pitchers ever, leaving the field for the last time.  It was one of those moments when you are watching a sporting event, and you know you will remember it for the rest of your life.  The only problem with it, was that Clemens completely contradicted himself and was back with the Yankees in 2004, and probably would still be pitching today if he wasn’t in the middle of the biggest steroid case in the history of sports.  Now, I vividly remember that moment, but more so as the moment when I stopped caring if an athlete spoke of retirement.

Jeff Pearlman wrote fascinating book on Clemens and spoke extensively about his ego.  In the end, to be a professional athlete, you have to have some sort of an ego.  In order to be in the top .1% of society in a specific skill, you have to believe you are that talented, so having an ego is a good thing to a certain extent.  Unfortunately, when your playing days are over, that ever growing ego still needs to be fed, and these two men are perfect examples who can’t bear to live outside of that spotlight.  It could be a byproduct of our society and semi worship of athletes that has created people like these two men, but to me, if you say you are hanging it up, accept praise and adulation from everyone, then go the exact opposite direction, you are a hippocrite and you have lost the respect of a lot of people, myself included.

Coming off of the 15 inning all star game that dragged on until around 2:00 am, I felt it was about time to look at the reality of what baseball has become.

I grew up watching/playing baseball probably from just about the moment I was born. I sat on my dad’s lap and watched the Chicago White Sox game every single night each summer. it must have been quite often, as I sang the Star Spangled Banner at my preschool talent show only because I knew it from singing it with my old man before every Sox game.

My uncle took me to a bunch of Cubs games where we sat in the bleachers and showed up two hours before the game to watch batting practice. The seats were a whopping $3 back in the mid 1980s, they are now $45 for weekend games, which a bit more accelerated that our supposed current 5% inflation rate. When the Cubs lost to the Padres in the 1984 NLCS, it was as if a member of my family died. I can still name the entire starting line up of that team.

Sadly, it seems that baseball is now taking a back seat to the NFL in this country. I attribute it to many things, but mainly it is due to the short attention span that we have developed as a society. I’ll be the first to admit, that I can’t sit still for 15 minutes without looking at a Blackberry. We now have hundreds upon hundreds of television channels available to choose from, not to mention the internet as another diversion. To be a true fan and attempt to at least somewhat follow a 162 game season is a daunting task. The NFL is 16 weeks, the games are mostly at the same time, and it can be planned as an event each week.

In the past, you could expect a game to be two to two and a half hours. In 1945, the average baseball game lasted one hour and 58 minutes. The 2007 playoffs averaged three hours and 52 minutes per game, almost doubling in duration! To be honest, in the last ten years, I can’t remember the last baseball game I attended in person and stayed until the last out. Two main items could be blamed for the current snail’s pace of the game.

The game of baseball has changed over the last 30 years. There are now middle relievers, set up men, closers, etc. An average game has six pitching changes between the two teams, which probably takes on average ten minutes per change. This does not even include random mound visits by managers or pitching coaches. It is now customary to step out of the batter’s box after ever single pitch. The guys adjust their gloves, take 12 practice swings, David Ortiz has to spit on his batting gloves between each pitch, it takes forever!

Advertising also plays a major role. The commercial breaks become longer and longer each season. Commercials were on average three minutes and 15 seconds last year. If you have a commercial every half inning (18), then six pitching changes, you are up to 24 commercials, multiplied by 3:15, you come to 78 minutes of commercials in the average baseball game. Not to mention the times that games come on. Of course advertisers pay a premium for the prime-time slots, and the 2007 world series started at 9:00 pm est each night. The games would be on until 1:00 am, therefore minimal school aged children are even watching the most important games of the year.

I love the game of baseball, always have, and always will. However, with the fan base shrinking, MLB needs to think long and hard of a solution to make their product something other than the equivalent of taking an Ambien.