Not sure why I thought of this today, maybe it is the annoyance of Brett Favre or the football season, but I started thinking of a Sunday Night Football game at Soldier Field in 2000 with featured the Bears vs. the Packers. I think it will go down as quite possibly one of the most moronic, yet comical maneuvers I have ever pulled.
The only bad thing about night football games is that it leads to endless hours of tailgating, which normally leads to endless hours of drinking. I am going to use that as my excuse, in advance, for this story.
I did feel kind of blessed as Bears/Packers is always a big game, and then throw a nationally televised night game and it goes to a whole new level.
One other item is back at this time, I was told that season ticket holders could basically sell their tickets back to Ticketmaster and Ticketmaster would then attempt to sell them. Because of this, I searched for tickets at Ticketmaster.com probably 500 times during that week, hoping some good seats would become available. In a weird twist of fate, on search number 501 I found two tickets about 25 rows up at the 50 yard line in old Soldier Field.
We had probably 15 people at the tailgate, had a good time, for some reason someone brought a bottle of Goldschlager, which I feel was passed around until it was gone. We made our trek into the game and found our nearly perfect seats. The fireworks they have before a night came were awesome, and the crowd was going crazy. Then unfortunately reality set in, and the Packers started pulling away in the second half and beat the Bears 28-6. Our seats were behind the Packers bench, and as the game got more out of hand, some of the Packers were talking with the crowd by us. It was at this time, my warped mind came up with an idea that I stole from my Dad from stories I heard from him as a kid…go on the field.
To take a step back, for some reason my Dad’s favorite line is, ‘Act like you own the place’. I guess this worked for him, because he told me stories of him in his 20s of how he snuck into both the Notre Dame football locker room after a game, and into the Chicago Bull’s locker room with my uncle and took Benny The Bull’s cape.
Not sure if I was trying to keep the Fish family tradition going, or what I was thinking, as I am anal about rule following to this day. My wife makes fun of me for this just about daily. Lets put it this way, you would never see me in the express lane in the grocery store with 11 items.
So I said to my buddy PG, “when the game ends, lets go on the field”. He really didn’t even elicit a response, might have been sleeping wondering why we were still at the game when it was a blow out. I repeated myself, and he proceeded to ask me if I was nuts. I then told him, ‘You do what you want, but I’m going on the field after the game.’ To which I still think he thought I had a screw loose and was probably not going to go through with it.
We sit through another agonizing ten minutes of a Bears defeat, and when the game ends and gun sounds, I make my way down the stairs instead of up. There is security standing at the entrance to the field behind the Packers bench, but I briskly walk past him like I knew what I was doing, and he didn’t even flinch. Next thing you know I am behind the bench by the Gatorade coolers, when the thought enters my mind of, ‘hmm, ok, what do I do now?’ I decide that my best option is to try to get to the Bears locker room. So I follow the players back to one end zone, and cross over to the other side of the field back to the tunnel to the Bears locker room, where a security guy politely tells me that I need a special pass to get back there. I was nearly defeated at this point, but then remembered that there are two teams, so made my way back across to the tunnel to the Packers locker room. This time I had learned my lesson, and wedged myself between two players and a trainer and made it right through security and am now back in the tunnel. Again, I didn’t have any real solid plan, so I was just going with the flow. After walking about 100 yards, a door opens and media and camera men start to enter. I give a quick look and realize it is a small room that the hold the post game press conferences in. I figured it would be kind of exciting to watch the press conference live, so I attempt to go into this room. A security guard again stops me and says I am not allowed in without a press pass. I immediately give a stern, “I’m with him”, and point to the camera guy next to me entering the press room. The camera guy, who I of course don’t know, and never even spoke to, gives an affirmative nod to the security guy and I’m now in the press room with the scribes. I was probably in there ten minutes, and Ted Thompson, the General Manager of the Packers came out and was taking questions. It was at this point when I came to the realization that it was extremely boring. Staple questions…canned responses, everyone seemed resigned to the fact that their time was being wasted, but I guess that is the life of a sports writer. It was at this point something to the likes of pure magic happened, a side door of this small room opened and the Packers locker room was now open to the media!
I strolled in to what looked like a wasteland of crumpled athletic tape thrown everywhere and a copious amount of giant naked men. If you are sensing a common theme here, its that I had no plan of what to do, it wasn’t like I had an agenda. As I walked through trailing the reporters, what to I see? A buck naked Brett Favre coming out of the shower with a towel over his shoulder. I immediately walked over to him and congratulated him on the win and shook his hand (while keeping direct eye contact). He went with, “Thanks buddy, I really appreciate it.” Now, I’m sure there are a lot of men who have shaken Brett Favre’s hand over the years, but how many of them could say they did it while he was completely naked. I would have to imagine that I am in a rather exclusive club. I managed to make my way near his locker and pocketed his game sock, as a momento. I figured that would be the highlight of the night, and should have just left, but I got kind of greedy.
I started walking around talking to players. I talked with John Thierry for a good five minutes about how intense the practice during the week and how they can give their bodies time to heal, he was a super nice guy. I then just started hanging behind the camera men as they taped interviews at player’s lockers, I was having the time of my life. It was at about this time a guy grabbed my arm and rightfully informed me that I had no business being in the locker room, and that I was going to jail. I looked at him as if his statement was absurd, and told him that I was let in by a member of the Packers media, and this must be a misunderstanding. I exited the locker room with this large man, and the head of the Packers media relations was just outside the door. I told him the same story, that I was there with a member of the media and wasn’t trying to cause any trouble. He asked me the name of the guy, and I absolutely no clue to this day where I pulled this name from, but I went with “Ron Schmedly”. He said, he wasn’t sure he was familiar with Ron. I then went with this sweet line. “Listen, I am not trying to cause any trouble for myself, or especially Ron. He was nice enough to let me in, and I understand I don’t have a pass, so I’ll just quietly leave.” They bought it for some reason and I left.
Next comes another bizarre moment as where I was let out was right where the Bears leave the locker room. There were probably 50 fans hanging out waiting for autographs, behind a small baracade. I decided to hang around as people were yelling for Brian Urlacher, Mike Brown and people like that. I then see Paul Edinger, the Bears kicker come out, and he is so small, that nobody realizes that is who it is. Paul happened to make a 52 yard field goal that night, so when he walks by, I go with, “Hey Paul, great kick tonight, that was a long one”. He stops in his tracks, walks over to me, puts his hand out, I’m thinking the handshake is coming, but he grabs my hand pulls it in and goes for the big one armed man hug “Thanks, man, thanks for coming out, just wish we could have got the win”. I couldn’t believe it, most guys blow off the fans, this guy over and we practically made out. I figured that was a perfect way to end the night.
As I was walking back to the car, it hit me that I was supposed to be driving two people home, and it was now a good 90 minutes after the game. I make the crazy long walk back to the car, parking lot is practically empty, pick up my phone to 12 messages from the crew wondering what happened to me, as PG last saw me making my way into the tunnel. The guys ended up getting a ride with someone else, and of course wouldn’t believe a word I told them, and I just kept yelling, “I have the sock to prove it”.
Now I spend nights watching Thomas the Train or Disney on Ice, not bad, but the memories of being 22 and a complete idiot still make me laugh.